I hate myself so much I'm such a mess, a blunder I don't add value to anybody's life WHY WHY AM I SO LOUSY I can't do anything right all I do is piss people off fuck my life it really sucks to be me I wish I didn't exist/wish I was someone else. No matter what, I will always end up missing a step, making a wrong move. End up causing someone to hate me. Why does shit keep happening to me I just want to be happy with the people that I love why is it so hard what is it that I am asking for that is too much can somebody tell me please I feel like dying but I don't have the guts to I can only pray that one day sometime soon I will muster up enough courage to actually hurt myself so bad that I die a slow and painful death I think I deserve that because I am such a bad person, I am a bad person I am a bad person I am a bad person and that is why it is not easy for me. I know it is sinful to think suicidal thoughts and I know yu must be thinking that hey, nobody has it easy but I just want to love the people who mean the world to me and be loved back. Why is it so hard why why why why I am crying and I want to die fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk I am so sick of looking at myself I despise every single bit of myself arggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh